Cause and Effect

Last weekend I had an exhibition of my art work at Jane Motyka's gallery, Motyka FineArt.

It was very last minute, although I had been making the work for a while nothing was painted before the april 1st. So as usual I pushed myself to complete work in a very short period of time. My goals are not usually predefined when I begin a show. This time though I worked towards a new set of principles. The show that I had in March 2010, was a collection of pieces that were highly wrought, intense and dark. The colour pallette was rich and had a very murky atmosphere. This time around though I wanted to shake it up a bit.

My intention was to paint the show with a lighter brush. I wanted quick and loose treatments, watery layers of paint. I needed the paint to talk about the images as much as it was working towards unifying the separate images into a whole. The landscape slides and melts away leaving the image underneath. the thicker applications of paint slow down the slide, and certain areas are left without glazes. I worked hard to create a candy gloss over some of the pieces which was achieved by adding a layer of medium (alkyd, stand, linseed, spirits) before hand. The entire surface would then be painted. This, of course was an impressionist technique employed but not with as much glazing of transparent colour.

There were a number of questions about the work and what it meant. I didnt really head into the work with anything in mind. It is important to trace back to the first couple of series that I did. Essentially I felt that although each piece was a little different in colour and had different images embedded, it was still a part of a continuing narrative. An instructor that I had critique my work mentioned that it seemed like my work was very nomadic, always moving, never restive. Though always in the same vein. This has continued through to this series. I have been getting closer and closer to what the entirety of my collage work is about. I feel as though I am getting better at finding the images that inspire me and give me that spark that makes me work for the finished product.

What is the show about? It gets complicated because the art is about me and making the work as much as it is the narrative/content within the pieces. When i put my creative juices down to the panel and paper with scissor and brush I am working towards reassembling the world as I see it fit together. In a way this is fantastic musing, prophetic play. However in the same way it is also gibberish, repetitive and time wasting. I dont often sit back and wonder if the work will really communicate and reach the public convincing them of my fantastic future. When I play futurist it is by pure chance that any of it will come true. Sometimes if I talk about things that have happened it is just hindsight and derivative. What I am getting at is what is the point of using the images at all. there have been things that have been bothering me. I work through it by doing the work. there is a saving grace in that. I feel more free when I am not worrying about what kind of technique or material I am using. the collage made sense for a long time because I was able to manipulate it and cut it. this is what I now realize. The paint alone will not do it for me because I feel that there is nothing there for me. Just a question that will never be answered
So after all these circles what is left?

What I do know is that I used my skills to make a show from found images, developed an approach with the medium to match the time constraints and made the work as big as possible. It was the process of meeting a challenge that made a difference to the production and I felt as though I had accomplished something.

So here is what i know. I need to manipulate my materials. I need to use the skills that I have spent decades to hone in order to reach something "beautiful." I need to challenge myself. Just simply producing an exhibit of work is not enough unless I have grown and learned something. I I am not interested in creating work that simply confuses the public as much as I want to create something that makes them admire. this is what pushes me.

What I also realize now is that I carry all of the skills that I have developed which means that I am able to call upon them at any time. I need to vary the quality and materials of my work to keep growing and will go back to work that has past to find the qualities and the materials that I am looking for.

The next question is whether I will keep making collage and paintings the way that I have been doing for the last four years? Yes. though not with the same intent, intensity. I realize that I am looking for more and what that is I have not known yet, but always sensitive and waiting.

This is what the show was about. An artist at a precipice. angry at the system, angry at the art world. I make the work because I feel like this is what I should do and the effect is to come to terms with my art practice and get back into the studio. We learn from doing. This is cause and effect.